当你在诉苦自己的感受的时候，我明白
怎么说你的年龄跟我们的年龄是有一定的距离，但你说的时候你觉得我是怎样想？
这个家，被弟弟讲他看不起我，虽然现在还是会和好啦～但你们有想到自己有怎么的了不起吗？
我真的很讨厌那些只会看到别人的不好，过后就被他们讲到什么都是我们的错。想想之前你们又是怎样对别人。别人是让你们3分。
可能就好像我跟朋友讲的一样，现在说什么都是BULLSHIT! 因为我不在你之上，我不比你厉害，我也不想和你聊。 你的东西我不想知道，我的东西只是 peanut matter. 跟你说，你又觉的我们没有哪个资格。 我也不想被你踩。 讲 channel 不一样，你妈的 每一个人不是你想象的肤浅，自以为是。 我会比较X姐是因为她有在听我讲话，思想没像你这样可恨，狭隘。
2016年12月26日星期一
2016年10月23日星期日
My bd celebration
My first of birthday, maybe for others will seems this a bit 38 la, because my bus card balance was RM10.20 when I get off from the bus. 1020 leh~ So, feel a little syok in early morning. The surprisingly is, that suddenly ran out of power, the quiz was postpone. Another happy thing.
Thirdly, I never thought my friend, Hana and Ben they bought me a piece of cake, that was quite touched me XD even just a piece of cake, but really could feel the different between my high's school friends that early celebration what I felt at that time was tired and felt a little pissed off with them. Feel so sorry to write bad thing at their back. Before that the early birthday celebration, I had a my friends celebration just gathered and ate; after me and Lye San needed to rush to TS. I'm a bit silly, believed that she would bring a special guest what was I thought was her bf, but once I knew who was the special guest, WTF damn sien lo...accompanied her looked all of the clothes, and most pekcek was that even she bought a skirt needed like walking that floor for 4-5 times..OMG
and then when comes to her bd, wow treated her differently from me, actually rite, I wanna say to them is, is ok don't celebrate my bd, cuz I'm used to be alrdy. Don't make you guys tired,
Or, of the reason could be is my birthday was still a week early... I do not hate my bd coming, but you guys really can spoil it.....I'm a bit hard to open my heart, maybe they think they und me, but sorry nope. maybe from the bd wish can see the distinct. BTW, thx you guys all of you !!
AH~~~~Alycia my old friend, I did not meet each other only half year, but seems like we do not see each other for few years. She's very nice girl :) Supporting each other :) Understanding :) I had been waiting for that day coming. Maybe we have gone through all the thick and thin, I can really feel her she's always by my side whenever I need her. She is the first one who I cried through a call, wanna see her but we are far away from each other. Our hear is connected. HAHAH...my smile is look more sincere in front of them lo~ :) Luv You~
Ong kee,hahaha... always kena ffk from me. I'm truly sorry. You' re a girl very geng one.. can see through what other person thinking, personality..always wanna me myself .Ya... i put other person in the first place, then is me. That's why they would think my heart can get and put is aside easily. I'm quite flexible la if I free or not lazy sure will hang out with her. I don't like others have a packed schedule, a lot assignment. Is true de leh...sometimes, sometimes when i need to get done my homework, i will reschedule my time again leh... if can't then i will say no. Thx you accompanying me all time. Sometimes, you also can't tahan me too.. I know but i still wanna play around you.XD
Tze yang`~~~o..ok I don't know what status am i right now ...hahah flirting...i don't think so maybe just a bit slow. haha
I stupid in this thing... sorry and paiseh need you to bring your bulky laptop try to fix my phone problem. Feel very comfortable with you.... I dk la
Thirdly, I never thought my friend, Hana and Ben they bought me a piece of cake, that was quite touched me XD even just a piece of cake, but really could feel the different between my high's school friends that early celebration what I felt at that time was tired and felt a little pissed off with them. Feel so sorry to write bad thing at their back. Before that the early birthday celebration, I had a my friends celebration just gathered and ate; after me and Lye San needed to rush to TS. I'm a bit silly, believed that she would bring a special guest what was I thought was her bf, but once I knew who was the special guest, WTF damn sien lo...accompanied her looked all of the clothes, and most pekcek was that even she bought a skirt needed like walking that floor for 4-5 times..OMG
and then when comes to her bd, wow treated her differently from me, actually rite, I wanna say to them is, is ok don't celebrate my bd, cuz I'm used to be alrdy. Don't make you guys tired,
Or, of the reason could be is my birthday was still a week early... I do not hate my bd coming, but you guys really can spoil it.....I'm a bit hard to open my heart, maybe they think they und me, but sorry nope. maybe from the bd wish can see the distinct. BTW, thx you guys all of you !!
AH~~~~Alycia my old friend, I did not meet each other only half year, but seems like we do not see each other for few years. She's very nice girl :) Supporting each other :) Understanding :) I had been waiting for that day coming. Maybe we have gone through all the thick and thin, I can really feel her she's always by my side whenever I need her. She is the first one who I cried through a call, wanna see her but we are far away from each other. Our hear is connected. HAHAH...my smile is look more sincere in front of them lo~ :) Luv You~
Ong kee,hahaha... always kena ffk from me. I'm truly sorry. You' re a girl very geng one.. can see through what other person thinking, personality..always wanna me myself .Ya... i put other person in the first place, then is me. That's why they would think my heart can get and put is aside easily. I'm quite flexible la if I free or not lazy sure will hang out with her. I don't like others have a packed schedule, a lot assignment. Is true de leh...sometimes, sometimes when i need to get done my homework, i will reschedule my time again leh... if can't then i will say no. Thx you accompanying me all time. Sometimes, you also can't tahan me too.. I know but i still wanna play around you.XD
Tze yang`~~~o..ok I don't know what status am i right now ...hahah flirting...i don't think so maybe just a bit slow. haha
I stupid in this thing... sorry and paiseh need you to bring your bulky laptop try to fix my phone problem. Feel very comfortable with you.... I dk la
2016年9月13日星期二
MMI
我第二次做工， 我真的做的很开心虽然我不是很灵敏笨笨点啦可是好的是我的team他们会帮我。 很开心可以认识他们，也认识到自己的不足。
我明白要怎样算，但我的样子已经告诉他们我不行，有点不喜欢自己，觉得自己没什么帮的上他们，我会继续的改我的不足做个比较有信心的人吧～哈哈
很难想象我们才做那么的4天，可是大家已经很熟了。
first day
第一天，我当然会怕啦，一个人嘛～过后看到好像1两个人不是很大gang就快点认识他们过后我们的gang慢慢变大变到好像有10+ person。 Stranger meets stranger, was more like a camp we have our own slogan, then ice breaking games. After finished those activites, then we just started to set up all the things...分配我们做什么工。。我被派到做sale department geh, sure will sad one cuz my math is really damn bad, and not sure can communicate with customers or not, but i like to talk talk but dk handle this kind of stuff.. So i told to myself, I can do it, even you can't do it but you still learn something for it, because I want to improve myself and try to step out comfron zone even I don't have friends with me. But I love to accept and overcome those challeges. In the past times, i would envy my friends, cuz they work/ find jobs together with their friends would feel like a little bit unfair for me and most of the jobs they found they didn't need went for an interview, no need to preapre the resume, Write an e-mail... I need go for the interview, before the interview day I need to preapre few techique to answer those questions that they might ask. Lastly, nothing....LOL
Second day
Good morning team! Okay this is my first day I work as a register also sell the barang jugak. 吓到，一窝蜂的人来买东西，过后很多人complaint 真的吓到leh 有个人拍桌子讲我已经我在那边很久了，但就是没有serve我，讲 racism啦。。要给我的朋友红啦放着facebook.
third day......................
lazy to write
LaST DAY
cASH ON THE spot. LoL
我明白要怎样算，但我的样子已经告诉他们我不行，有点不喜欢自己，觉得自己没什么帮的上他们，我会继续的改我的不足做个比较有信心的人吧～哈哈
很难想象我们才做那么的4天，可是大家已经很熟了。
first day
第一天，我当然会怕啦，一个人嘛～过后看到好像1两个人不是很大gang就快点认识他们过后我们的gang慢慢变大变到好像有10+ person。 Stranger meets stranger, was more like a camp we have our own slogan, then ice breaking games. After finished those activites, then we just started to set up all the things...分配我们做什么工。。我被派到做sale department geh, sure will sad one cuz my math is really damn bad, and not sure can communicate with customers or not, but i like to talk talk but dk handle this kind of stuff.. So i told to myself, I can do it, even you can't do it but you still learn something for it, because I want to improve myself and try to step out comfron zone even I don't have friends with me. But I love to accept and overcome those challeges. In the past times, i would envy my friends, cuz they work/ find jobs together with their friends would feel like a little bit unfair for me and most of the jobs they found they didn't need went for an interview, no need to preapre the resume, Write an e-mail... I need go for the interview, before the interview day I need to preapre few techique to answer those questions that they might ask. Lastly, nothing....LOL
Second day
Good morning team! Okay this is my first day I work as a register also sell the barang jugak. 吓到，一窝蜂的人来买东西，过后很多人complaint 真的吓到leh 有个人拍桌子讲我已经我在那边很久了，但就是没有serve我，讲 racism啦。。要给我的朋友红啦放着facebook.
third day......................
lazy to write
LaST DAY
cASH ON THE spot. LoL
2016年8月25日星期四
Yesterday, COACH briefing
I didn't put much of hopes on this job.
Probably I know, I won't get this job, because was quite messy? What do I mean is, is not so well organized. When I get to there, my name was not in the list, also not in the whatsapps group as well. Actually, this also what I had expected lo~~~
Hmm... for the last time, I was needed go for the second times interview which Coach will handle about it, but this time I can straight away go for their job briefing.
No other meaning, just for fun.
Probably I know, I won't get this job, because was quite messy? What do I mean is, is not so well organized. When I get to there, my name was not in the list, also not in the whatsapps group as well. Actually, this also what I had expected lo~~~
Hmm... for the last time, I was needed go for the second times interview which Coach will handle about it, but this time I can straight away go for their job briefing.
No other meaning, just for fun.
2016年8月23日星期二
Haha....
http://www.fashionwaltz.com/?p=45582
I had been seeing counselor from Semester 2 to Semester 4, it a long journey to me and her.
Officially, my counseling session has ended, but problems seem to be here till now. Notice the problems, but the method to solve are still searching. Is difficult to find the solution even u know the problems. For me, EQ is one of the resistant to move further? Maybe yes, maybe no? I feel more comfortable in certain ways because I have used to be. Conversely, the feeling make me feel sick. Is the same problems....
Yes, after the counseling I feel much more better to myself. I feel more happier than before, I have found myself, more confident.
But when come to the problem which is the same problems I have been facing it before, I feel the badass in myself keep thinking of I am not good enough in everything academic, relationships and etc. It is truth for me because I really not good enough compare to my brother & sister. I am the extraordinary normal in my house. I not clever, not humor whatsoever I seem useless in this house. And to my dad, I don't feel any feeling from you, I not really like you honestly. Every times, when discuss something with you I always loss my patient to you. Like what my counselor said I can't avoiding him forever, ha... I don't know what else I can do. For exp, I will wake up later even I have awoke early but I till keep myself in the sheet just because don't want to see you. Haha...
Ha...sound a bit serious lol...
That's way I want to grow more older ? XD
So, I won't depend on you so much.
Haiz.. should I solve the problem?
我能说我不是你的骄傲。
I had been seeing counselor from Semester 2 to Semester 4, it a long journey to me and her.
Officially, my counseling session has ended, but problems seem to be here till now. Notice the problems, but the method to solve are still searching. Is difficult to find the solution even u know the problems. For me, EQ is one of the resistant to move further? Maybe yes, maybe no? I feel more comfortable in certain ways because I have used to be. Conversely, the feeling make me feel sick. Is the same problems....
Yes, after the counseling I feel much more better to myself. I feel more happier than before, I have found myself, more confident.
But when come to the problem which is the same problems I have been facing it before, I feel the badass in myself keep thinking of I am not good enough in everything academic, relationships and etc. It is truth for me because I really not good enough compare to my brother & sister. I am the extraordinary normal in my house. I not clever, not humor whatsoever I seem useless in this house. And to my dad, I don't feel any feeling from you, I not really like you honestly. Every times, when discuss something with you I always loss my patient to you. Like what my counselor said I can't avoiding him forever, ha... I don't know what else I can do. For exp, I will wake up later even I have awoke early but I till keep myself in the sheet just because don't want to see you. Haha...
Ha...sound a bit serious lol...
That's way I want to grow more older ? XD
So, I won't depend on you so much.
Haiz.. should I solve the problem?
我能说我不是你的骄傲。
2016年8月15日星期一
2016年8月3日星期三
Wow~
John, 是电脑那些part time job认识的
过后，就出来见个面聊那些 job scope.
他说“ 我有pontential 做哪些 politic 的东西
哇～
还有在whatsapps 讲看到我有potential
他当我妹妹一样。
他还真的很好， 教我很多东西
差不多每次，都会叫我读那些可以inspire你的书
prepare your mind to win.
The hardest situition, the hardest the person.
当他讲每天读15-30 min 我吓到
哈哈。。谁会想读呢？
在这个年纪， 真的对未来很有用
虽然，现在看不到
但知道， 以后真的会有帮助
就好象，你已经忘记了， 至少有人在提醒你
这个society, 人好像忘记阅读了
在乎的是，吃，吃，吃，享乐。。。
不知道，有时候他们有没有想到外面的世界乱糟糟？
疾病? 污染？天灾？ 难民？ 政府？ 恐怖分子？ 食物？
有些人，连最基本的都没有。。。
每一个美好，背后都是心酸
过后，就出来见个面聊那些 job scope.
他说“ 我有pontential 做哪些 politic 的东西
哇～
还有在whatsapps 讲看到我有potential
他当我妹妹一样。
他还真的很好， 教我很多东西
差不多每次，都会叫我读那些可以inspire你的书
prepare your mind to win.
The hardest situition, the hardest the person.
当他讲每天读15-30 min 我吓到
哈哈。。谁会想读呢？
在这个年纪， 真的对未来很有用
虽然，现在看不到
但知道， 以后真的会有帮助
就好象，你已经忘记了， 至少有人在提醒你
这个society, 人好像忘记阅读了
在乎的是，吃，吃，吃，享乐。。。
不知道，有时候他们有没有想到外面的世界乱糟糟？
疾病? 污染？天灾？ 难民？ 政府？ 恐怖分子？ 食物？
有些人，连最基本的都没有。。。
每一个美好，背后都是心酸
A little gathering
Last Saturday, 30/7
before two days end of Raya, finally 5sc2 had a small gathering, was a very appreciate day to me.
But the first, really need to thank to Cikgu Aisah even she doesn't who am I, the most important thing is I remember her.
I don't very like be friend with teachers, seem awkward to me. I don't know what kind of topics can talk to them, although they do not care at all what kind of rubbish u talk at. They are the best adviser, they threat their students sincerely. Is like our second parents.
We spent most of the time at school, so some of them they are clearly understand than parents.
Teachers, is the most precious gift from God to all people. They guide us. They do whatever to benefits their students. They always try their best.
O..ok is out of topics already.
Get back~
I really miss my desk-mate Ummi and Anis.
I really miss them 5SC2.
Really miss those old good days.
Miss you all. Miss you all. Miss you all
I dk what can I say other than miss you.
Muack~~
before two days end of Raya, finally 5sc2 had a small gathering, was a very appreciate day to me.
But the first, really need to thank to Cikgu Aisah even she doesn't who am I, the most important thing is I remember her.
I don't very like be friend with teachers, seem awkward to me. I don't know what kind of topics can talk to them, although they do not care at all what kind of rubbish u talk at. They are the best adviser, they threat their students sincerely. Is like our second parents.
We spent most of the time at school, so some of them they are clearly understand than parents.
Teachers, is the most precious gift from God to all people. They guide us. They do whatever to benefits their students. They always try their best.
O..ok is out of topics already.
Get back~
I really miss my desk-mate Ummi and Anis.
I really miss them 5SC2.
Really miss those old good days.
Miss you all. Miss you all. Miss you all
I dk what can I say other than miss you.
Muack~~
2016年7月13日星期三
去PENANG, 有跑去看那些命。。
也不算是什么，只是要知道你的年龄就可以
比较讲现在的， 没有以后会有什么东西出现/以后·有什么发展·
讲我怕什么都怕
怕输不起， 给人讲没有问题的。
人在这里，心不动跑去那里
怕答案写对/错
读书，读书到哭，是有啦
我自己也不清楚，我明明不比别人上心，我自己觉得我读书比较cinca
都不懂我要干嘛，心不在，随便读书，我输不起什么阿~？
haiz。。什么事都不要怕
敢敢去做。
我是属于第6型人格
不懂叫什么了
就是什么都怕， 性格上，做东西方面还蛮像的。
有想法，可是要别人的支持
-有责任
-承偌感
-团队感
-值得信赖的partner
希望，可以克服。这样我可以更好
也不算是什么，只是要知道你的年龄就可以
比较讲现在的， 没有以后会有什么东西出现/以后·有什么发展·
讲我怕什么都怕
怕输不起， 给人讲没有问题的。
人在这里，心不动跑去那里
怕答案写对/错
读书，读书到哭，是有啦
我自己也不清楚，我明明不比别人上心，我自己觉得我读书比较cinca
都不懂我要干嘛，心不在，随便读书，我输不起什么阿~？
haiz。。什么事都不要怕
敢敢去做。
我是属于第6型人格
不懂叫什么了
就是什么都怕， 性格上，做东西方面还蛮像的。
有想法，可是要别人的支持
-有责任
-承偌感
-团队感
-值得信赖的partner
希望，可以克服。这样我可以更好
2016年7月1日星期五
:) damn it
A jerk, will never respect other's views
Jerk, is ignorance
He think his solution is the best,
the world is keep changing, why you can't accept something new?
can't you just accept it?
FUCK U!
never listen other people,
maybe u listen other people, but not us
how u can just believe someone more than your family?
I really hate you!
yes, I hope I can get off here, how you still my Xx
I damn really do not want to talk someone who does not respect US
especially, your most lovely one
有其父必有其子...
I really don't to say someone bad.
I can't tolerance anymore, sometimes
both of you have the same problems .....
Jerk, is ignorance
He think his solution is the best,
the world is keep changing, why you can't accept something new?
can't you just accept it?
FUCK U!
never listen other people,
maybe u listen other people, but not us
how u can just believe someone more than your family?
I really hate you!
yes, I hope I can get off here, how you still my Xx
I damn really do not want to talk someone who does not respect US
especially, your most lovely one
有其父必有其子...
I really don't to say someone bad.
I can't tolerance anymore, sometimes
both of you have the same problems .....
2016年6月8日星期三
2016年5月6日星期五
：）
我是不是应该对我自己定一个结论呢？
可能说不上什么结论吧～应该是我怎么多年的看法
说实话，你最疼的还是最大的孩子
她做什么都是好的，就好象是自己的骄傲
骄傲她有跟你一样的性格，好动，坐不稳
这样的人找吃也比别人的快，多。
也不能怪啦～因为她小时候爸爸跟她的互动比较多
样子好看，甜美，不像我这么的粗鲁
读书不错，至少没让你多付extra钱
性格还真不错，不像我暴躁
也会撒娇一点
她太多的美好，我还真想像她一样
她还真的是我的榜样（那时候，counseling时候，还真的有那回事）
你在我的面前说了好久了
我也没给什么表情，i used to be :)
我也不奢望我自己能给你什么让你感到骄傲的
对我成绩，性格也没什么突出
我有什么事你们不会知道，让你们知道做什么？
就怎样过，过了好久
你懂我是那种口是心非，我很容易满足的吗，当你每次问我考试怎样，我答”不知道“。
在我心里我是不会超越你对她的期望。
我也觉得我也没有必要去证明自己什么
当学校有什么特别好玩，有趣的事情，我也不会跟你们讲
有时候，有什么开心的事想要分享，我不想跟你分享
当然，我还是有时会找我姐姐
有时，如果不是从姐姐的口中说出来，你应该永远不会知道吧
因为，我还真的不想跟你说跟妈妈说也好过跟你说
我只不过是你的其中一个孩子
放假了，我想我在你的眼中是不是一个猪？
整天，在家
没做工
我不知道你懂不懂我有找工？
每天，早上说实话我没看你一脸
也不想跟你说
睡醒了，再睡，就因为不想看到你
看你，有时候我还真有压力
SPM 的时候，你跟我讲的一句话×忘记了啦
你走后，TMD 哭
过后，有什么考试我不会跟你讲
还真的有点伤我
我有努力过，不要说到我好象没努力过
你的好意，我受不起
我还真不了解你的好意
有时候，我讲话很直，是我讲话很直
因为，你还真的很欠打
看了几家的风水，
说我要多孝顺我父母多一点，
有点难，哈哈
我的性格对你还是有叛逆
不喜欢。
还真的，如果我有车，我不想跟你了
很多事情都是千丝万缕。。。。
我急，我现在还是比较像要赚钱多过读书（当然是是读书重要）
因为，有时候我不想在这个家
可能说不上什么结论吧～应该是我怎么多年的看法
说实话，你最疼的还是最大的孩子
她做什么都是好的，就好象是自己的骄傲
骄傲她有跟你一样的性格，好动，坐不稳
这样的人找吃也比别人的快，多。
也不能怪啦～因为她小时候爸爸跟她的互动比较多
样子好看，甜美，不像我这么的粗鲁
读书不错，至少没让你多付extra钱
性格还真不错，不像我暴躁
也会撒娇一点
她太多的美好，我还真想像她一样
她还真的是我的榜样（那时候，counseling时候，还真的有那回事）
你在我的面前说了好久了
我也没给什么表情，i used to be :)
我也不奢望我自己能给你什么让你感到骄傲的
对我成绩，性格也没什么突出
我有什么事你们不会知道，让你们知道做什么？
就怎样过，过了好久
你懂我是那种口是心非，我很容易满足的吗，当你每次问我考试怎样，我答”不知道“。
在我心里我是不会超越你对她的期望。
我也觉得我也没有必要去证明自己什么
当学校有什么特别好玩，有趣的事情，我也不会跟你们讲
有时候，有什么开心的事想要分享，我不想跟你分享
当然，我还是有时会找我姐姐
有时，如果不是从姐姐的口中说出来，你应该永远不会知道吧
因为，我还真的不想跟你说跟妈妈说也好过跟你说
我只不过是你的其中一个孩子
放假了，我想我在你的眼中是不是一个猪？
整天，在家
没做工
我不知道你懂不懂我有找工？
每天，早上说实话我没看你一脸
也不想跟你说
睡醒了，再睡，就因为不想看到你
看你，有时候我还真有压力
SPM 的时候，你跟我讲的一句话×忘记了啦
你走后，TMD 哭
过后，有什么考试我不会跟你讲
还真的有点伤我
我有努力过，不要说到我好象没努力过
你的好意，我受不起
我还真不了解你的好意
有时候，我讲话很直，是我讲话很直
因为，你还真的很欠打
看了几家的风水，
说我要多孝顺我父母多一点，
有点难，哈哈
我的性格对你还是有叛逆
不喜欢。
还真的，如果我有车，我不想跟你了
很多事情都是千丝万缕。。。。
我急，我现在还是比较像要赚钱多过读书（当然是是读书重要）
因为，有时候我不想在这个家
2016年4月30日星期六
2016年3月12日星期六
FUCK!
Who does want to fail, sure nobody want to fail
but what can I do? I failed 2 subjects, you think this what I want to get?
After I have seen my result, u know what I have thought?
How could it be ?! I thought I will pass all, but unfortunately i failed!
U think this is what I have expected?
U think i can bear with this kind of pressure?
That's , at a particular time I really want to give up, even I almost get to there, I feel this is a shame to me, I have to waste my parent's money again to retake these subjects, and my precious time to study it again.
I'm really frustrated , why i can't be like other people, they are intelligent, and talented.
I really feel want to transfer to another college, if i fail again, i really can't stand over it.
I'm become very sensitive, when they said I have failed 2 subjects , it keep reminding me that to extend my semester until Sep, then i can graduate. I really scare I can' graduate from foundation programme.
That's why i really wanna be like other people, so that i can finish my education smoothly, i really don't want to waste my parent's money, I wanna quickly finish my everything, therefore i can work earlier, no need much depend on parents. I feel like Im a burden to them, I feel i'm useless,, I'm a failure, I can't do anything to them so far..
I really tried my hard.....so what?
Ya... when i told my parents and some of my friends
They said" try harder"
Try harder, try harder, try harder....
u teach me how i gonna try more harder?
I even warned my brother, don't study at there, is waste of money and time
Until now, i'm still suffer because of this!
Yes, I'm try to be more positive, but sorry for that, my family has the most power to influence my mind.....even i try to be myself.
i can't neglect how people think of me.....
but what can I do? I failed 2 subjects, you think this what I want to get?
After I have seen my result, u know what I have thought?
How could it be ?! I thought I will pass all, but unfortunately i failed!
U think this is what I have expected?
U think i can bear with this kind of pressure?
That's , at a particular time I really want to give up, even I almost get to there, I feel this is a shame to me, I have to waste my parent's money again to retake these subjects, and my precious time to study it again.
I'm really frustrated , why i can't be like other people, they are intelligent, and talented.
I really feel want to transfer to another college, if i fail again, i really can't stand over it.
I'm become very sensitive, when they said I have failed 2 subjects , it keep reminding me that to extend my semester until Sep, then i can graduate. I really scare I can' graduate from foundation programme.
That's why i really wanna be like other people, so that i can finish my education smoothly, i really don't want to waste my parent's money, I wanna quickly finish my everything, therefore i can work earlier, no need much depend on parents. I feel like Im a burden to them, I feel i'm useless,, I'm a failure, I can't do anything to them so far..
I really tried my hard.....so what?
Ya... when i told my parents and some of my friends
They said" try harder"
Try harder, try harder, try harder....
u teach me how i gonna try more harder?
I even warned my brother, don't study at there, is waste of money and time
Until now, i'm still suffer because of this!
Yes, I'm try to be more positive, but sorry for that, my family has the most power to influence my mind.....even i try to be myself.
i can't neglect how people think of me.....
2016年3月5日星期六
2016年3月1日星期二
'LIKE'
Is time to refresh my blog.
I had joined the Bursa Young Investor Challenge last Friday of 26/2
through this game, I had knew that I am a conservatism, I didn't "all in" like other groups they even borrow loan from the bank.
At the end, I satisfied with the result, even thought not the top
haha.
my group get no 11 over 22 XD
I had joined the Bursa Young Investor Challenge last Friday of 26/2
through this game, I had knew that I am a conservatism, I didn't "all in" like other groups they even borrow loan from the bank.
At the end, I satisfied with the result, even thought not the top
haha.
my group get no 11 over 22 XD
2016年1月22日星期五
Career couselling 21/1/16
I ever enter a counselling before, this would be my first time formally enter to counselling centre even though is career counselling centre.
I'm not very excited about it, but after the counselling session it really helped me a lot.. not only in career also in others.
This counselling had reminded me back, the pain in my heart
I know that pain is still inside my soul, sometimes I just ignore it, I have forgotten, slowly become one part of my body.
I think it is ok, I think I have overcame, but actually not.
the pain is still keep growing without I noticing it
I don't know when I had develop such kind of minded that is
comparing with other people.
Is very hard for me to delete this mind set in my mind .
I desperately feel that
*I'm not good *I did not try my best* I am Stupid* Why I'm here* I have no talent*
no matter how many "A", what subjects did I got in SPM or PMR (3A and 4A) very bad, rite?
other people were surprised that I got "A" in my English, I didn't feel surprised or what ...feel nothing
I'm not satisfied with it, I still will think that "Am I not hardworking enough?"
Write for FUN..XD
I'm not very excited about it, but after the counselling session it really helped me a lot.. not only in career also in others.
This counselling had reminded me back, the pain in my heart
I know that pain is still inside my soul, sometimes I just ignore it, I have forgotten, slowly become one part of my body.
I think it is ok, I think I have overcame, but actually not.
the pain is still keep growing without I noticing it
I don't know when I had develop such kind of minded that is
comparing with other people.
Is very hard for me to delete this mind set in my mind .
I desperately feel that
*I'm not good *I did not try my best* I am Stupid* Why I'm here* I have no talent*
no matter how many "A", what subjects did I got in SPM or PMR (3A and 4A) very bad, rite?
other people were surprised that I got "A" in my English, I didn't feel surprised or what ...feel nothing
I'm not satisfied with it, I still will think that "Am I not hardworking enough?"
Write for FUN..XD
2016年1月7日星期四
Kajang one day trip
Thx Alycia and ur bf Derek XD
It was a awesome day for me.
I never think that i still can meet such a good friend as my secondary friends' , i think is more than them...
haiz.. dk how to write...
It was a awesome day for me.
I never think that i still can meet such a good friend as my secondary friends' , i think is more than them...
haiz.. dk how to write...
Haiz...
People are such a weird human begin, life as well.
Nothing is wonderful, there are always two sides of coin, nothing is exactly right or wrong
Why God wanna test us? wanna make us so confusing in our future?
Everything is unknow we need to discover by ourself to find the answer in our heart, but there is a day we will feel exhausted, feel very insecure, feel loneliness, useless, and more.
I really hope that i were a wonderful person, no mistake, no weakness, be the storngest person in my little small world.
Now, I'm lost I don't know where I'm now.
Maybe, i will answer myself as I'm still studying/ Im still learning/ i need educate
I don't know what i wanna be in future, feel pissed off with myself
I'm not like other they full of ambitious, passion to reach their goals
I'm not like other they smart at study, curriculums....
Feel so hopeless now.
Why I'm not as other people, I have no talent....just an ordinary girl
WHY...
Damn it! Fk it off!
I'm not good at writing, even speaking as well
How?
I had failed 2 subject, which are ENG and CTS
I really thought of jumped off from building, everything will go disappear.
Im piece of SHIT! i more worsen then my brother, sister
Although my dad know that I'm not clever as other, I really appreciate it you still willing give me education , give whatever what i want, has a wonderful and awesome sweet family..
Maybe you didn't say negative thing to me, but i still can feel it , your body language, ur voice tune, gesture, the words you say , and more ..
I know that kind of feeling, that's why I'm always trying to keep myself happy and spread the hapiness to all around the people who with me.
That feeling is bitter
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