FUCK!

Who does want to fail, sure nobody want to fail
but what can I do? I failed 2 subjects, you think this what I want to get?
After I have seen my result, u know what I have thought?
How could it be ?! I thought I will pass all, but unfortunately i failed!
U think this is what I have expected?
U think i can bear with this kind of pressure?
That's , at a particular time I really want to give up, even I almost get to there, I feel this is a shame to me, I have to waste my parent's money again to retake these subjects, and my precious time to study it again.
I'm really frustrated , why i can't be like other people, they are intelligent, and talented.
I really feel want to transfer to another college, if i fail again, i really can't stand over it.
I'm become very sensitive, when they said I have failed 2 subjects , it keep reminding me that to extend my semester until Sep, then i can graduate. I really scare I can' graduate from foundation programme.
That's why i really wanna be like other people, so that i can finish my education smoothly, i really don't want to waste my parent's money, I wanna quickly finish my everything, therefore i can work earlier, no need much depend on parents. I feel like Im a burden to them, I feel i'm useless,, I'm a failure,  I can't do anything to them so far..

I really tried my hard.....so what?
Ya... when i told my parents and some of my friends
They said" try harder"
Try harder, try harder, try harder....
u teach me how i gonna try more harder?

I even warned my brother, don't study at there, is waste of money and time
Until now, i'm still suffer because of this!
Yes, I'm try to be more positive, but sorry for that, my family has the most power to influence my mind.....even i try to be myself.
i can't neglect how people think of me.....

OMG

我还真的不知道，我可以暗恋一个人可以这么久~
昨天， 有CAP mid-term,
我在图书馆读书，过后转头看到看到朋友不熟的啦~YUV
在那边跟他的朋友，过后他走了
不久，我听到声音。。哦~是他哦
看到他就，心跳很快=。=
就在那边想，是不是YUV跟他说所以他才来。。。
也可以是因为，他朋友那边没有位，他才过来
跟他没说过话，但有时候，当我们看到对方的时候，眼神都会互看一下。。
希望，是自己看错
没什么说过话，但就是喜欢他。。有没有搞错哦~？
就写个爽。。因为，我不是他
第一次，喜欢一个人，喜欢到那边他的朋友在那边传。。=。=
我知道，是不可能的啦
就想下就好了。哈哈

开心

看到自己的进步，真的很开心
当然，没有别人的帮助， 你也不会察觉到的。

'LIKE'

Is time to refresh my blog.
I had joined the Bursa Young Investor Challenge last Friday of 26/2
through this game, I had knew that I am a conservatism, I didn't "all in" like other groups they even borrow loan from the bank.
At the end, I satisfied with the result, even thought not the top
haha.
my group get no 11 over 22 XD

Career couselling 21/1/16

I ever enter a counselling before, this would be my first time formally enter to counselling centre even though is career counselling centre.
I'm not very excited about it, but after the counselling session it really helped me a lot.. not only in career also in others.
This counselling had reminded me back, the pain in my heart
I know that pain is still inside my soul, sometimes I just ignore it, I have forgotten, slowly become one part of my body.
I think it is ok, I think I have overcame, but actually not.
the pain is still keep growing without I noticing it
I don't know when I had develop such kind of minded that is
comparing with other people.
Is very hard for me to delete this mind set in my mind .
I  desperately feel that
*I'm not good *I did  not try my best* I am Stupid* Why I'm here* I have no talent*
no matter how many "A", what subjects did I got in SPM or PMR (3A and 4A) very bad, rite?
other people were surprised that I got "A" in my English, I didn't feel surprised or what ...feel nothing
I'm not satisfied with it, I still will think that "Am I not hardworking enough?"

Write for FUN..XD

Kajang one day trip

Thx Alycia and ur bf Derek XD
It was a awesome day for me.
I never think that i still can meet such a good friend as my secondary friends' , i think is more than them...
haiz.. dk how to write...

Haiz...

People are such a weird human begin, life as well.
Nothing is wonderful, there are always two sides of coin, nothing is exactly right or wrong
Why God wanna test us? wanna make us so confusing in our future?
 Everything is unknow we need to discover by ourself to find the answer in our heart, but there is a day we will feel exhausted, feel very insecure, feel loneliness, useless, and more.
I really hope that i were a wonderful person, no mistake, no weakness, be the storngest person in my little small world.
Now, I'm lost I don't know where I'm now.
Maybe, i will answer myself as I'm still studying/ Im still learning/ i need educate
I don't know what i wanna be in future, feel pissed off with myself
I'm  not like other they full of ambitious, passion to reach their goals
I'm  not like other they smart at study, curriculums....
Feel so hopeless now.
Why I'm not as other people, I have no talent....just an ordinary girl
WHY...
Damn it! Fk it off!
I'm not good at writing, even speaking as well
How?

I had failed 2 subject, which are ENG and CTS
I really thought of jumped off from building, everything will go disappear.
Im piece of SHIT! i more worsen then my brother, sister
Although my dad know that I'm not clever as other, I really appreciate it you still willing give me education , give whatever what i want, has a wonderful and awesome sweet family..
Maybe you didn't say negative thing to me, but i still can feel it , your body language, ur voice tune, gesture, the words you say , and more ..


I know that kind of feeling, that's why I'm always trying to keep myself happy and spread the hapiness to all around the people who with me.
That feeling is bitter